MOVING IN WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND BEFORE MARRIAGE...THOUGHTS?!

Well you guys....! The time has finally come. 

I'm getting my very first place with just myself...and my cooler half!

I. AM. STOKED. 

Turns out that we are signing the lease on Valentine's Day (which I thought was super cute...I'm already planning the whole night! Sign the lease, grab some blankets, some wine, some snacks, games and the iPad and have a full blown slumber party in there with no furniture.) Ha! 

Ever since I moved out of my parents house in SD when I was 21 I have lived in LA with two of my best friends from High School. 

We went from The Valley in LA, to the Marina where we stayed for 2 years then back to the Valley where we've been for the past 12 months. 

What's kind of funny though is that my boyfriend (Esteban) and I discussed moving in together LAST time my lease was up.

He was SUPER cute about it. He took me out to dinner with a view (my fav) and pretty much laid it all out and asked if I was ready to move in with him.

Then there's me...miss indecisive. I said yes at dinner and then thought about it for a few more days and decided that I actually DIDN'T feel ready. 

I felt like I was still having a lot of fun living with my roommates and I know he's the one I want to be with so I figured we have a lot of time to live together so I didn't want to rush into it. (I'm SUUUUUUPER slow in relationships).

I'd say it wasn't until the last 6 months that something clicked and I was DYING for us to have our own place.

I FELT READY. 

As I started talking about it to people though I was getting mixed feedback. 

I'd say mostly everyone was really excited for us and already told me what they're getting us as a house warming gift.

But then...there waaas I'd say, a handful of people that we're a little more hesitant. 

They we're either asking me if I was sure I didn't want to wait to be married first or they were telling me their nightmarish stories of back in the dayyyy when they lived with a boyfriend and they broke up and it was the worst break up ever because you still have a leaseee and what do you do with the furniture and blah blah blah. 

Which I totally get BUT. 

What do you guys think?

I feel like for me PERSONALLY, I want to take things slow.

And moving in together is FAR LESS of a commitment than getting married so I feel like it makes sense to do that first. (even though I definitely plan on marrying him ;) )

I want to experience us having our own space together and letting our styles intertwine and just enjoy the journey. 

I'm not really very interested... in fact I'm bored at the thought of doing 'what people usually do" or " doing things in the right order".

I think you should do things in an order that makes sense to you and the person you're choosing to spend your time with. 

So with that said. I'm pretty effing excited. 

If you think about it, this is going to be my FIRST PLACE EVER that I don't have to hoard everything I own into my bedroom.

So obviously I've been SUCH a Pinterest slut lately. 

I'm already planning the house warming party and picturing my mornings at the new place plus getting hard over the fact that Trader Joe's is like 5 minutes away! UGH. WHAT IS LIFE!

I can't wait to bring you guys along on the move and show you the new spot. We're both veryyy laid back, minimalist to an extent (or trying to be) and into some artistic ish so I'm picturing plants, pink walls, comfort and LOTS of blank space. 

EEEEEK. Wish us luck! 

And leave any comments below if you have been or are in a similar situation !

XX

HOW TO HANDLE A BREAK UP - MY 4 BEST TIPS

UGGGGGGGHHHH. 

It's been a while since I've personally been through a break up but I DEFINITELY know how it feels and that it completely blows. 

I've had a few people hit me up recently telling me that they're going through a break up and wanted some advice. 

I think I've seen enough happen and I've seen where people mess up too often after a break up that I kind of just want to talk about it.

First of all, I've never been that girl that's an "on and off" person in a relationship. We're either dating or we're not. I don't see the point in leaving that grey, in between area open to kind of just do whatever you want. 

It kind of just seems like an opportunity to do something wrong and not get in trouble for it.

SO, when I break up with someone, it's DONE. 

PS: I'd love to hear any of your tips or stories so comment below if you have any!

So if you're in a situation where it's DONE, especially if you're the one that got broken up with, then consider some of these "tips?" I guess I would call them... Because none of your friends want to hear you talk about your on and off relationship for 10 years. THEY'RE OVER IT, you need to be over it too. 

1.

DON'T STALK THEM ON SOCIAL MEDIA. 

Always and forever, this will be number one. You are COMPLETELY 100% torturing yourself when you go see what the last thing was that they posted, who they're following since the break up, what their captions say, where their geo-tags are....BLAH, STOP. 

It's also silly to me because it's so easy to block someone but it seems like a lot of people after a break up make a huge effort to stalk their ex on social media ALL DAMN DAY. 

You are not going to get over someone if you are obsessing over their every move and breath. You stay extremely attached to that person and it's just un healthy. I mean, especially if they broke up with you then I think you need to realize that you need to move on. 

Don't torture yourself. 

2.

DO YOU.

OMG. Maybe this should be number 1? It's a close call. If someone breaks up with you, DO NOT SPEND YOUR TIME TRYING TO GET THEIR ATTENTION. This is such a bad move. I feel like I can even see right through posts where people are trying to get back at their ex. 

Don't post a picture of yourself in Europe and talk about how your so happy to be there only because you know your ex REALLLLY wanted to go to Europe. 

Don't even post a picture of you drinking a Caramel late when you hate Starbucks but you know that was your ex's favorite drink. 

Get what I'm saying? Because at the end of the day, THE ONLY REASON you are posting that picture is because you are waiting to see if he or she is going to react to it. So you're still technically using SO much energy throughout your day just to get that persons attention. 

And the worst part? They know what you're doing. I mean they dated you right? They know you. They're going to know if you're being genuine or fake so don't let them have that satisfaction that you're still worried about what they think. 

DO YOU. 

3.

DON'T POST YOURSELF PARTYING 

Okay - for some this might seem totally appropriate which yeah go have some cocktails with your girls and if you want to post a picture of that I think thats okay BUT don't make the caption ANYTHING about him, or her. 

But if you never party, don't purposely go out and get hammered and post pictured of yourself with people you don't know JUST to "get back" at your ex. 

If I saw my ex do that I would laugh. especially if they never liked clubs you know? It would be so obvious that they were still wasting energy just trying to get back at me, which is kind of pathetic. 

If someone breaks up with me, I go off the radar. You won't know where I'm at, what I'm doing, how I'm doing...and at the end of the day, that's going to drive your ex more insane that him being able to see your every move and see that you're still clearly obsessed with them. 

4.

GET BUSY. 

Post break up for me is like crack. I feel like it's the best time to do all the shit you forgot that you wanted to do while you were in a relationship. This is also why you never want to get to this point in a relationship. 

You should be able to be you + MORE in a relationship...not 1/2 of who you are because you were too busy giving yourself to someone else. 

If you're going through a break up then you need to make sure you're busy all day doing things for yourself. This helps keep your mind off of your break up and it helps push your forward. 

Start going to the gym again and get your diet on point. Start hanging out with friends that you haven't made time for in a while. Go work on what YOU want to do. 

People that go through break ups and spend all day doing nothing other than trying to get the attention of their ex end up digging themselves deeper into a hole of depression, and girllllll you don't have time for that. 

I feel like whether you're going through a break up or if you've been single for a while and you feel like you want to start dating, the absolute best thing you can possible do is DO YOU. 

Be yourself, don't play games, and focus on your goals.

Doing you will always be the most attractive thing you can do.

Comment your tips, tricks, and stories below!

Love you guys

xx